I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize