Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
