I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
