apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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