I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
