New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
