I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
COCAINE IS GR8
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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