just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
