dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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