only you would photoshop your dick
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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