Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
