so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
