Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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