Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
