lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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