I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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