the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
