She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Shitshow foam night was such a success
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
