told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
