have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I cut my penus on the lid.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
