I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
