Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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