Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize