I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
