Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
