Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
