I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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