no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
