I wish I could teleport
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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