I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
