wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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