Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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