it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize