You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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