i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
