did you get engaged???
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
