I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize