Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
