Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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