Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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