He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
two words: eviction party
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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