I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
