I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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