I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
