She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
