it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
