you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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