I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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