Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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