I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
