sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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