I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
