A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
