im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How's work?
Spinning.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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