he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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