How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
