In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
