New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
