her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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