But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
