I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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