69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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