Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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