the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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