Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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