so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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